Neither did I.

But according to the website Alternet Detox, who are flogging detox foot patches, “The sole of the feet, where acupuncture points are concentrated as a reflected area of the whole body, has a great influence on the circulation of the blood as to be called “a second heart”.

These little pillows of woo are allegedly from Korea, and clearly the people at Alternet Detox didn’t bother to translate the Chinglish (Koringlish??) that came with the product. Here’s an example.

The Sap Patch is originated from a folk remedy. Its spirit of trees absorbs accumulated wastes and toxic materials in the body as ointments in oriental medical science do, and radiates negative ion, promoting the circulation of the blood to make your body refreshed and light.

And there’s more

Human beings are destined to have waste-accumulated feet, which support the body. You can see that by daily experiences like stained socks at night and swollen feet when tired. Accumulated wastes in the body can lead to dropsical legs, fatigue, and even disharmony of the body when metabolism doesn’t work well.

They then go on to contradict themselves by saying you must apply it to the sole of the foot for it to work…

In order to enhance the effect of Sap Patch, it is necessary to apply it on the sole of the feet regardless of symptoms…..Toxic matter often stagnates in the feet, and thus the sole of the foot is the best area to apply to experience the effect.

…but show this picture:

After which, things just get a little confusing…

It is ideal to apply it every night until it doesn’t get wet, but, for those who have a serious symptom or took medicine for a long time in the past, SAP Patch tends to get wet continuously. Although the toxic matter is thought to be eliminated when Sap Patch doesn’t get wet, it is better to use Sap Patch once or twice a month even after it doesn’t get wet because toxic matter keep stagnating

And then, just ridiculous…

Ingredients: Tourmaline. This is natural ore produced in Brazil, which forms anion and improves blood circulation of human body by generating infrared rays.

Right…Infrared rays hey? Hmmm, sounds sciencey (read: bullshit) to me!

I dunno, but if you can’t even be bothered to translate your product information correctly, do you really expect me to spend $22.85 on your credulous product? Sorry Alternet Detox, you’re just not trying hard enough.

By the way, in case you were wondering detox foot pads are a scam. To get a full explanation into why, see my other blog here.

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