The Council was established in 2008, using money from the Department of Health (£900 000) and the King’s Fund (£1 million) with the purpose “to enhance public protection by setting standards” in the area of alternative medicine.

Sounds like a good idea to me. Regulation is something that has been sorely missing from the alternative medicine industry since inception. But wait, before we get too excited let’s examine the “legislation” in more detail.

First problem: A conflict of interest? The CNHC was set-up by the Prince’s Foundation for Integrative Health, in other words, woo ruling on woo. For an hilarious take on this aspect of the policy see this article from the daily mash website.

Second and bigger problem: registering with the CNHC is voluntary. (To add to the incentive, it also costs money). To get on to the government-register, therapists will have to show they have the qualifications and experience, abide by a code of conduct and ensure they have insurance in place.

But importantly, the efficacy of the therapies they are offering will not be addressed. Edzard Ernst, professor of complementary medicine at the University of Exeter’s Medical School said, “There does need to be more rigour in the regulation of complementary medicine as there will be cowboys out there. However, I have concerns that the regulator does not have mandatory powers and is not looking at the efficacy of these therapies.”

Surely this is just arse-about. Whilst I don’t disagree with the idea of alternative therapists adhering to a code of conduct, I do object to them acquiring some official looking stamp just because they can produce a certificate of attendance for turning up to homeopathy school and pouring water into a little jar. A nod from the government with the addition of a regulator logo to promotional material and shopfronts just adds legitimacy to an industry that sells magic water and farcical “cures”.

Homeopathy is water or sugar pills. Therapeutic touch is made up shit debunked by an 11 year old girl as part of her school science project and published in the Journal of America Medical Association. Ear candles do more harm than good, and are based on lies about the creation of a vacuum and the removal of cerumen or ear wax from the ear canals. Detox can kill you, or give you brain damage.

But let’s not worry about that, as long as you have a certificate in “making-shit-up” we are fine with you chanting or holding your hands over someone’s head to channel energy into their aura. Just as long as you don’t do anything weird like have sex with your patient whilst you align their chakras.

The main plank of the council’s work will be to operate a register of practitioners. It will not judge clinics on whether therapies are effective, but rather on whether they operate a professional and safe business.

Maggie Dunn*, co-chair of the CNHC said the regulator would clean up the industry used by one in five people and she estimated thousands of clinics may go out of business in the process. As applying to the register is voluntary, Ms Dunn accepted that some therapists might not put themselves forward. Ms Dunn said: “It won’t take long for customers to start asking whether a practitioner is registered or searching on our website for ones that are. They will then vote with their feet.”

Whilst some people think those stupid enough to use alternative therapies get what they deserve, I believe governments have some responsibility to protect the public from harm. Especially since (in Australia at least) these “medicines” are approved for sale in pharmacies and drug stores, alongside the science-based medicine, thereby lending them legitimacy.

No one expects (and neither they should) Mr Jo Public to take responsibility for establishing whether these things work or not. If the government is going to set up regulatory bodies at least use them for good, not to give the stamp of approval to magic water and other collective bullshit.

*Interestingly, the board of the CNHC is occupied by woo and lay people. Maggie Dunn was lay Chair of the General Council for Massage Therapy until June 2008; the co-chair Maggie Wallace was lay Chair of the Council of Organisations Registering Homeopaths; Jenny Gordon completed her PhD in 2007 which focussed on the use of reflexology as an adjunct to care in the management of childhood idiopathic constipation. The other members appear to be lay people (solicitors), “consumer champions” and a physiotherapist. Medical doctors are conspicuous by their absence.

The main stage, with a hippy banging a drum

Seems only yesterday when I had my first experience with this festival of “woo”. Some of you might recall my run in with a Live Blood Analysis salesperson, detailed on the SkepticZone podcast (episode 2) and the accompanying blog.

And this year looks to be a similar affair. A brief perusal of the programme revealed delights representing a wide spectre of woo, including Tea Cup Readings with Betty (sounds like something straight out of the 1950s), Nana Mays Magic Hands (ditto), the Church of Scientology, and Noseworks Neti Pots (I’m serious – check out the hilarious how-to video on the website).

The amazing computerised horoscope machine - looked like something from a 60s side show alley

Of note are several seminars from our favourite psychics from The One (more on that later) but one that immediately caught my attention was “Psychic Spoon Bending and Egyptian Alchemy” by Elisabeth Jensen. Who is Elisabeth Jensen you ask? Some of you may remember her from this gem of a video, in which she bends spoons with her psychic powers and the muscles in her hands! Seriously folks, her preceeding spiel is a lot of jibberish about meditating and imagining the spoon getting white hot, that there is a candle flame underneath it etc., then she simply physically bends it! I urge you to take a look at the video, you won’t believe your eyes! So I imagine this is what she had planned for MB$ next week. Andy Milman, spoon-bending extraordinaire and myself plan to attend, just to see it for ourselves. (Note: Elisabeth requests that you please bring your own spoons).

Fry and Laurie bend spoons

Next on the schedule is the (Rev Dr) She D’Montford. She is giving a seminar about discovering your own psychic powers so that you too can be “The One”. According to the programme, She will also reveal the secrets of what really happened behind the scenes on “The One”. Hmmm. Sounds intrguing.

Next on the schedule is Ezio De Angelis! His seminar is entitled “Connecting with Spirit”. I anticipate a whole lot of, “Can I come to you my sweets?…is there a problem with the plumbing my love?…” in rapid fire. This guy’s cold reading is a bit like John Edward, fast and furious, thereby increasing the chances of a hit.

Head in on Friday at 4.30 pm to see Mitchell Coombes, “Psychic to the Stars” in “Messages from Beyond”. Yet more cold reading. But cheaper than going to his stadium shows, a bargain at $16 for the festival compared with $35 for his RSL tour.

Some of the other gems making up the free seminars include “Weight loss, causes of weight gain, how to lose (but spelt “loose” in the programme) weight and keep it off” with Natasha Flynn. No information is provided as to Natasha’s qualifications apart from “works alongside Dr Sandra Cabot” who wrote the best selling book, “The Liver Cleansing Diet”. It appears Dr Cabot (or McRae) is a legitimate doctor which makes her promotion of “woo” even more unacceptable. and according to her website she studied medicine at Adelaide Uni, my alma mater (how embarrasing). I’ve got an idea for how to lose weight and keep it off, eat less and move more. Simple. Sheesh.

And yet more nonsense “Food Intolerances, Digestive Enzymes And Alkalisation” presented by Philippe Thebault. This guy has discovered two new enzymes that increase your ability to digest food. BS.

So there we are people, 4 days of nonsense, expensive supplements, magic Goji berries from the Amazon, nose candles (possibly I made this up) plus all the usual suspects like reiki, chiropractic, iridology, magnets, chinese medicine, cleansing etc etc. Fortunately, there is no sign of the Live Blood Analysis people. Shame, these guys really get my goat, they had me shaking in the corner last year (ask Andy Milman if you don’t believe me).

If you be brave and live in Sydney, come join us on Sunday November 9 at 1 pm for a trip to the other side.